BeeniAktor

Jon Frederik Band

2011-03-02T17:12:00.002-07:00

The Jon Frederik Band is a band that I've loved for quite sometime now. I first got into them when I heard their song "The Great Pretender" on the Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie Soundtrack back when I was in Junior High School. They've been broken up for some time now but I still love them to bits. Especially their song "Cry of a Generation", which is literally impossible to find these days. So, I made a video of it and put it on Youtube, along with a couple of other songs. I plan on uploading more. But until then, here's the videos that I have uploaded.

Let me know what you think of them!

Oh, and here's the actual music video for "The Great Pretender"

:P

Update 2011

2011-02-28T04:20:00.003-07:00

You know?

I always forget that I still have this thing. It was pretty relevant for a little while, when I needed to vent, complain, or tell a story.

I go back and read through my posts, and even I want to smack me with all of my venting and complaining. It's... Obnoxious. And for that my friends, I am sorry. It does feel nice to get things out, but maybe from now on I'll just keep them to myself and my Laptop.

As for story telling... I don't have any stories to tell. Not much really happens in my life these days. I guess I could tell stories about work, but even then those wouldn't be too interesting to read about because nothing happens at work, either!

I'd like to start blogging again, I thoroughly enjoy it. From now on I'll try to keep these posts strictly about stories, news articles, movie/music/anime/video game reviews, art updates, song lyric updates, short stories, etc. The stuff that you, my friends, would be more interested in reading.

I'll try to update as much as I can.

If you have any suggestions, let me know.

;P

Game Over.

2010-08-08T15:14:00.003-06:00

Its over between Angel and I.

She decided that she'd rather torture herself and be miserable with her ex because she knows that she will never get over her and will never let her go.

So she let me go instead. The best thing that will ever happen to her.

She said that she doesn't want to hurt me anymore, so she has to let me go.

It is true though. All of the Ex baggage took its toll on me quite a bit. She did so many shitty things to Angel during our ten and a half month run, and before then too. But she would never let her go and STILL wants to be with her.

So be it. They can have each other.

I never really fit into Angel's world, anyway.

I couldn't stand her friends. She couldn't stand my interests and a good majority of my music.

Throughout our relationship, it felt like I was doing all of the fighting for us. It was a constant chase after her and near the end I was extremely exhausted from it.

Ten and a half months and I think three to four of them we were official. I don't regret anything though. I had the time of my life during those times. I met new people, made new friends, had a lot of new experiences, and learned that it is possible to fall in love more than once.

Life is going to be tough without her as my partner, but I will survive. I survived before... I can do it again. It wont be easy, though. Especially this time.

Angel became apart of me. When I'm not around her, I feel incomplete. Empty. I really hope over time I feel complete again.

If, in the future, she decides she wants me back (which I KNOW she will), I will make her work for it like I've worked for her the past ten and a half months. She will have to go through my mother first. Lol

Like I said... I do not regret anything. I love her very much and always will, but our time is up. For now, I'm going to just work on myself. Build my life back up. Pay more attention to my friends (the very little I have left), make new friends, work harder on finding a job and getting into school, and just work on me. Figure out what I want.

For now, peace.

Nostalgia

2010-06-28T15:01:00.002-06:00

~

Why do you hate me so much? Everything between the two of us happened a long, long time ago. We have both moved on, we are both in happy relationships. So why do you still hate me?

I was young, dumb, and wreckless during our time together. I couldn't hold my temper, I couldn't stay positive, I couldn't do all of the things you wanted me to... But I was only human. I was trying to figure out who I was and where I wanted to be. I was sick, sad, and lonely... But that was me years ago. I am a completely different person now. Well, not completely. My fun side is still the same and my humor has not changed. But I have grown in a lot of ways. I have learned to understand most things, I have matured. I grew up.

From time to time you cross my mind, and I wonder how you are doing. I wonder what you are up to. If you're happy, if you're sad... Sometimes when I think back on things, it just feels like a dream. A dream that had it's good parts and it's bad parts. It doesn't feel like it was real. Like any of it ever happened.

I haven't seen your face in over a year. I haven't really even spoken to you in over a year. It's weird... Being in love, being swept into a person for so long and then suddenly they're out of your life and they never say a word to you. It just doesn't feel all that right to me.

The last time I physically saw you was at the Japanese Festival, in Downtown. I didn't see your face. I saw you walk in the distance. I knew that walk, I knew that stride. My adrenaline pumped, and my heart raced. And I wish I could've said "hello"... But I knew you would've just casted me away. I know you really don't want anything to do with me, and I understand that. But... I wish you did.

I am over you, for the most part. You never really get over your first love. You will always hold a place in my memory and in my heart. As much as I hate you some days... You will always be there. And now I wish, a little over two years later, that we could reconnect and be on speaking terms again. But a wish is a wish. Something that rarely ever happens.

I just really don't understand why you still loathe me so. Times are different, I am different, I'm sure you are as well...

I know you probably wont ever see this, but I hope you do. I hope you see and understand...

~

Holiday

2010-02-10T13:08:00.002-07:00

"Holiday"

Oh she wants to be a stage star
Live the life in New York City,
Become the next Broadway Baby
But she's trapped in this run down town
I want to save her life,
Take her to where she wishes to be
Tonight will be the night I'll tell her
I'll tell her

If you ran away with me,
Everyday would be like a holiday
Valentine's, Christmas, even Halloween
Your life would be filled with gifts and surprises,
And every night a kiss that'll set your soul free
So run away with me,
I'll set you onto the stage
Close your eyes and sing
And let yourself float away
On our Holiday
Our Holiday

We're driving in my car,
Driving down the street
A billboard passes by,
Stressing the life of not being on your feet
She sighed in her grief,
Thinking about being a star
I stopped the car and grabbed her hand
And I told her,
I told her

If you ran away with me,
Everyday would be like a holiday
Valentine's, Christmas, even Halloween
Your life would be filled with gifts and surprises,
And every night a kiss that'll set your soul free
So run away with me,
I'll set you onto the stage
Close your eyes and sing
And let yourself float away
On our Holiday
Our Holiday

I want to take her away,
Put her mind as ease
I might not be completely on my feet,
But I will make it happen,
You will see...

If you ran away with me,
Everyday would be like a holiday
Valentine's, Christmas, even Halloween
Your life would be filled with gifts and surprises,
And every night a kiss that'll set your soul free
So run away with me,
I'll set you onto the stage
Close your eyes and sing
And let yourself float away
On our Holiday
Our Holiday

----

I just wrote this today. I had a tune in my head and went with it. Yay for some music progress~! Steal this and I will denut you. <3

~*

Viva Las Vegas

2010-01-27T13:02:00.003-07:00

Angel and I went to Las Vegas last week for a few days.

It was fun.

Saw the Phantom of the Opera and the Tournament of Kings dinner & show, got scammed into buying a mug and a picture, got a water massage thingy, bought cocktails and margaritas, bought a new "toy"- Virgil II ;), played drunken chess, walked the Strip, saw Yoda and a Storm Trooper, almost got Gang-Banged by a bunch of crack-head black dudes, gambled and won $7, collected about a pound of the whore cards, touched a man chest D:, watched the Fremont Light Show, had loud crazy sex, got scammed by a psychic, over stuffed myself with mashed potatoes and gravy, lol'd at the Holden Townhall, "Do you think they sell M&M's at the M&M store?" XD, almost died driving down there because of the weather...

Yeah. That's about it. XP

Good 21st Birthday!

The fam got me a 32" HDTV and Angel got me concert tickets to Muse. <3

~*

Oh.

Angel and I are back together. She broke up with Tia for me. (:

Always Be My Baby

2009-12-06T18:57:00.004-07:00

We were as one babe, for a moment in time. And it seemed everlasting that you would always be mine... Now you want to be free, so I'm letting you fly. 'Cause I know in my heart, babe, our love will never die, no...

You'll always be a part of me, I'm a part of you indefinitely. Girl don't you know you can't escape me? Oh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby... And we'll linger on, time can't erase a feeling this strong. No way you're never gonna shake me... Oh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby...

I ain't gonna cry, no. And I won't beg you to stay. If you're determined to leave, girl, I will not stand in your way... But inevitably you'll be back again 'cause ya know in your heart, babe, our love will never end, no...

You'll always be a part of me, I'm a part of you indefinitely. Girl don't you know you can't escape me? Oh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby... And we'll linger on, time can't erase a feeling this strong. No way you're never gonna shake me... Oh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby...

I know that you'll be back, girl. When your days and your nights get a little bit colder. I know that you'll be right back... Baby believe me it's only a matter of time...

You'll always be a part of me... And I'm a part of you indefinitely... Girl don't you know you can't escape me...? Oh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby... And we'll linger on... Time can't erase a feeling this strong... Now way you're ever gonna shake me... Oh darling... Because you'll always be my... My baby...

You'll always be a part of me, I'm a part of you indefinitely. Girl don't you know you can't escape me? Oh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby... And we'll linger on, time can't erase a feeling this strong. No way you're never gonna shake me... Oh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby...

Always be my baby...

----

Just another girl to add to the list of leaving me for their Ex... I did nothing wrong this time, and I know that. I did everything for her. I was faithful, respectful... We were perfect together. We never fought, we agreed on most things, we treated each other well. She was absolutely, postively perfect for me. She was the girl I had been searching for. I wish I didn't find her the way I did, but things happen for a reason. And I do not regret the way things started between us, but I really with they didn't go that way. Oh well.

We weren't together for very long, but I fell deeply in love with this girl... She and I dated for about a month and a half, and she left me just a week before our one month of being official. I don't know how or why I felt so deeply for her in such a sort period of time, but I did. I do. Her reasoning for leaving was because she had too much going on in her mind... She has this Ex that was her first love who is always tailing her, always making her feel like shit. They are always in a constant state of fighting and bickering over small, petty things, but mainly... Me.

Before she had decided to get with the person before I, she was going to get back with this Ex. But as a "fuck you" to the Ex, she got with the one before me. But she soon regretted the decision and was going to go back to the Ex, until she had realized she had feelings for me and went after me instead. Throughout our almost flawless relationship, she had still been talking with this Ex and seeing her on her days off. She became confused, lost in her own emotions. She very much was still in love with this Ex, but was also madly in love with me...

She did not want to hurt her Ex any longer, but she did not want to hurt me either. She knew if she had stayed with me, the Ex would have been incredibly hurt. But if she left me for the Ex, same situation. So she decided to leave me anyway with the excuse of "I don't know what to think anymore. I don't feel like myself anymore. I don't know who I am and I don't know what I want anymore." But I am not stupid, I am not dense... At first I was very positive about the situation. I knew she'd realize how perfect I am for her and how much better I am for her than this Ex. But as the days went by, I grew weaker and weaker... I saw things happening via Myspace and through the way she was acting...

It's over. And I unfortunately knew it.

So last night during a phone conversation with her...

I let her go... I set her free...

I told her to go back to her Ex... I told her to go be happy and make the Ex happy. That was all that mattered. Her happiness. And if she realizes that she is not as happy with her Ex, then I will welcome her back with open arms. I told her that I am not going anywhere, that I will still be in her life.

But I do not know if that is a promise I can keep.

It would be too painful for me to see or hear about her with the Ex...

But at least I love her enough to let her go...

I know some people reading this are grinning, laughing at my misery and thinking I deserved it. But this time, I did not. I did nothing wrong. I was not the bad guy this time. But I still got abandoned...

...

Non-Discrimination Laws?

2009-11-11T20:09:00.002-07:00

LDS Church representatives discuss support of non-discrimination ordinance

SALT LAKE CITY -- KSL's Doug Wright opened his radio show Wednesday morning with what everyone is still talking about: a very strong statement from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in support of issues of extreme importance to Utah's gay community.

LDS Church representatives joined Doug Wright's discussion on Salt Lake City's newly-passed non-discrimination ordinances. They said the Church simply did what was right for all citizens of the city.

"We're extremely encouraged by the reaction. Across the board, very, very positive reaction," said Michael Otterson, managing director of public affairs for the LDS Church.

On Tuesday night, Otterson read a statement from Church leaders, who support the rights to employment and housing.

Otterson said the city invited Church comment, and a number of conversations with Utah's gay community leaders preceded the meeting.

"I also am absolutely delighted to be standing in solidarity with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in support," former Salt Lake City council member Deeda Seed said.
Rep. Christine Johnson, D-Salt Lake City, said, "I'd like to publicly thank The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is a very compassionate and brave step to endorse this ordinance."

The Church representatives said they anticipate negative reaction from gay groups who want more and from political conservatives who fear concessions. They are, however, encouraged by what happened Tuesday night.

"I think this was democracy at its finest," Otterson said. "When you get people of very different viewpoints, very different perspectives, coming together and expressing themselves in very respectful ways - I am impressed by that."

Bill Evans, director of community relations for the LDS Church, said, "To see individuals of good will wanting to come together to find ways to communicate more effectively … and as that happens,
I think we'll see that kind of good will increase."

In what is now a diverse community, they said, this was a return to civility

Interesting...

A Poem

2009-10-27T16:33:00.001-06:00

BEST POEM IN THE WORLD

I was shocked, confused, bewildered
As I entered Heaven's Door,
Not by the beauty of it all,
Nor the lights or its decor.

But it was the folks in Heaven
Who made me sputter and gasp--
The thieves, the liars, the sinners,
The alcoholics and the trash!

There stood the kid from seventh grade
Who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbour
Who never said anything nice.

Herb, who I always thought
Was rotting away in hell,
Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
Lookin incredibly well!

I nudged Jesus, 'What's The Deal?
I would love to hear your take.
How'd all these sinners get up here?
God Must've made a mistake.

And why's everyone so quiet,
So sombre- give me a clue!?
"Hush, Child," he said "they're all in shock
no on thought they'd be seeing you!"

JUDGE NOT:
Remember... Just going to church doesn't make you a Chirsitan any more than standing in your garrage makes you a car!

Every Saint has a PAST...
Every Sinner has a Future!

Without You

2009-08-08T23:48:00.000-06:00

I wrote this a while ago, actually. And I just noticed I never posted it.

It was inspired by a friend. I was talking to him one day and some of the lyrics came right from his mouth.

Its about a person being hurt by someone they thought was pretty much a goddess, then realizing she really wasn't.

So. I share with you, my new masterpiece - "Without You".

>Verse<
I never thought, I never thought I could go on without you
But here I am singing a song about going on without you
I always thought, I always thought that we would last forever
But everyday I remember reasons why I am so much better off without you

>Bridge<
And no, I wont, be the first to fall out of the race
And no, I wont, be the last to forget your face

>Chorus<
Now that I'm going on, I'm walking strong
I'm smiling and my head is hung up high
I've climbed back onto my horse
And I'm riding onto a future that does not involve you
Now that I'm going on, I'm walking strong
Without you

>Verse<
I never thought, I never thought I could ever feel this way about you
But everyday you give me more reason to be without you

>Bridge<
And no, I wont, be the first to quit the game
And no, I wont, be the last to forget your name

>Chorus<
Now that I'm going on, I'm walking strong
I'm smiling and my head is hung up high
I've climbed back into reality
And I'm going onto a future that does not involve you
Now that I'm going on, I'm walking strong
Without you

>Verse<
I never thought, I never thought I could go on without you
But here I am singing a song about going on without you
I always thought, I always thought I could change the wrong about you
But that was a waste
Because the wrong with why I can live on without you

>Bridge<
And no, I wont, be the first to fall out of the race
And no, I wont, be the last to forget your face

>Chorus<
Now that I'm going on, I'm walking strong
I'm smiling and my head is hung up high
I've climbed back onto my horse
And I'm riding onto a future that does not involve you
Now that I'm going on, I'm walking strong
Without you
Now that I'm going on, I'm walking strong
I'm smiling and my head is hung up high
I've climbed back into reality
And I'm going onto a future that does not involve you
Now that I'm going on, I'm walking strong
Without you

>End<
I never thought, I never thought I could ever feel this way about you
But everyday you give me more reason to be without you

...

SCANDAL

2009-08-05T02:25:00.001-06:00

Oh. Em. Gee.

So this band, SCANDAL, just made life a lot more livable.

You don't even know. O_O

OMG the drummer~~~! XF

Scandalous Volcanos

2009-07-15T04:57:00.002-06:00

I've been having the same dreams for the past week, and I don't know why.

Four dreams in one night. The first two are the same, and the second two are the same.

The first two consist of me having a secret affair with a girl that I do not reconize or know. She doesn't have a name, either. In these dreams I sneak around with her and we have sex in secretive places. The first dream is of this, the second is of the same thing, but from a different angle or prospective.

The second two dreams consist of a Volcano erupting here in Salt Lake and I am running away from it, while trying to save those who just happen to be with me. At the beginning of the dream, I'm at a Party or at some sort of a Club, and the people and I go Downtown and a Volcano erupts and we run away from it, trying to find a safe point. Kinda like that movie "Dante's Peak". The people I always end up with are Chris, two twins I don't know, Bailey, her baby (Quinton), and Ali and Ansony. Why these people? I have -no- idea. This dream repeats itself twice just like the first.

I always wake up before we die.

Why these dreams? They don't relate to each other, but yet, they do. Why?

Can anyone figure out what these dreams mean?

I found out a few things:

Volcano - To see a volcano in your dream, indicates that you are unable to control your emotions, particularly if the volcano is erupting. You are ready to burst. The end result may be damaging and hurtful, especially to those around you. If the volcano is dormant, then it represents past issues that have been resolved and put to the rest.

Sex - To dream about sex, refers to the psychological completion and the integration of contrasting aspects of the Self. You need to be more receptive and incorporate aspects of your dream sex partner into your own character. Alternatively and a more direct interpretation of the dream, may be your libido's way of telling you that it's been too long since you have had sex. It may indicate repressed sexual desires and your needs for physical and emotional love. If you are looking for a place to have sex, then the dream may be analogous to your search for intimacy and closeness.

Running - To dream that you are running away from someone, indicates an issue that you are trying to avoid. You are not taking or accepting responsibility for your actions. In particular, if you are running from an attacker or any danger, then it suggests that you are not facing and confronting your fears.

Ex - To dream about your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or ex-husband/wife or that you and your ex got back together again, suggests that something or someone in your current life that is bringing out similar feelings you felt during the relationship with your ex. The dream may be a way of alerting you to the same or similar behavior in a current relationship. What you learn from that previous relationship, may need to be applied to the present one so that you do no repeat the same mistake. Alternatively, past lovers often highlight the positive experiences you had with that person.

Alternatively, seeing your ex in your dream also signifies aspects of yourself that you have x'd out or neglected.

Yeah, I really don't know...

Some of these sound about right though. What do you think? I really need some help, guys...

Colorado, Say What? Part 2

2009-07-12T00:30:00.000-06:00

----

Sorry about the delay, I got -really- busy for some odd reason. oO

Anyway.

We stopped in this little town called Leremie or something like that to have lunch. We parked in front of a McDonald's and ate FUCKIN' SALADS. XD Don't ask. We sat inside Atty's car and ate and I noticed on the map that there was a short cut to where we were going. MapQuest directed us to go through Cheyenne then go down from there to Fort Collins. But I noticed another freeway on the Map that goes straight from where we were into Fort Collins. Hella. So we took that route.

Funny thing. So Wyoming is mostly green fields of hills and small mountains off to the distance, right? Well, this was our scenery the whole time minus the random pink hills I think I already talked about and the Butt Crack Canyons. Well, the immediate second we crossed the border from Wyoming into Colorado the scenery completely changed. Suddenly there were pretty green pine trees every where, mountains, and really cool rock formations. Totally threw us for a loop.

Long story short, we finally make it into Fort Collins or where ever it was we were at. The secretive short cut we took drove us straight into the Downtown area of the place and OMG it was awesome! Imagine Downtown Salt Lake City mixed in with Downtown Murray and Magna with a bit of the Gateway Mall. Yeah. That was it. There were so many Bars and Coffee Shops I didn't know what to do with myself. We finally met up with Tory and a few of her friends at this small little plaza thing with these epic jumping fountains like you see on Rollercoaster Tycoon. Tory and Atty had a moment, then I had to shit bricks about how tall Tory is. XD Hoolllyyy shit.

So about this time Atty was starting to get slap happy because we had just driven six and a half hours and she didn't get much sleep the night before. So Tory offered to drive us to this chick's house. Oh god. Tory has a her Driver's License, BUT she hasn't driven since she got it. D: So it was pretty much like driving with someone who hasn't ever driven in their life. And I was afeared for mine. O_O There were so many Round Abouts, too. It was retarded. When Atty was Slap Happy, Tory said she hated them and Atty corrected her, saying they're called "Roond Aboots" in this weird British Accient. I laughed so so hard. XD

So we get to this chick's house, and she showed us her Farret and Atty made Mii's on the chick's Wii. I wasn't really interested in anything except the chick's dog and cat. OMG they were so cute. The cat looked EXACTLY like Eddi but it was a boy and he wasn't as fluffy. It was trippy. The dog was stubby and had a big head. He was really cute too. So we were there for about an hour and the whole time I just played with the animals.

After that we went to Tory's house and unloaded all of our shit into her bedroom and we sat down and played Fatal Frame. I remember playing it before with Atty and a few other people, but I didn't remember it very well. The voice acting made me Lol because of how bad it is ("With this Camera..." XD), and I was getting way too interested in what the main character's "File" is because she'd pick up random shit and place it in her magical "File" and I was soo interersted in what this File really is. XD I also was getting so mad at the Dead People's random journal entries they wrote right before they died. How retarded is that? I had to make the comment "Duh. What do they do? Turn to the Ghosts and say 'Whoa, whoa. Hang on. I have to Blog this first, Ok? My million viewers have to know!' ... Yeah". Tory and Atty laughed their asses off. It wasn't that funny. XD

A while later Atty finally passed out and so Tory popped in the movie "Repo: The Genetic Opera". Through out the movie, Atty just flung herself around the bed and whined a lot in her sleep. At one point she full on groped my chest and ass, and she kicked me in the face. Shit kid calm down. XD It was Ok though, Tory and I had a good laugh about it. When RTGO was over, Tory popped in "Howl's Moving Castle" and Atty woke up to watch it. About fifteen mintues in, I hella passed out. I ALWAYS pass out when I try to watch that movie. I have never finished it. XD I don't know why it puts me to sleep. Its not boring or anything, it just does.

The next morning we all got up and went to Ihop. Yay Ihop! Its my favorite. XD We had breakfast, then we went around the corner to this chick Tiffany's place. We chilled and talked with her for a while and I played with her dogs, then we went over to this chick Kay's place to hang out with Tory's Cosplay buddies. Her aparment looked like the remains of an incredible Cosplay Orgy that exploded all over the walls and furniture. No joke. XD It was pimp, though. We then all just sat in Kay's room and chit chatted about Anime Conventions, Cosplay, XDCDX, their Cosplay Group, blah blah. The whole time I just laid down on the floor and listened because I couldn't really relate to much they were talking about because I've been out of the whole XDCDX loop for about a year and a half now. So I passed in and out the whole time we were there. They seemed like cool and fun people though, for sure. They made me giggle quite a bit.

We said our good-byes, then we went back to Tory's house, packed the car up, and headed home.

The whole trip home I drove and Atty was asleep in the back seat and Tory and I talked the whole time about our love lives, work lives, social lives, etc. etc. It was very nice bonding time with Tory. I absolutely loved it. She said she'd teach me how to sew and we decided to do a couple of cosplay things together. I also told her my side of the XDCDX story and why everyone dislikes me, and she like most people, found it to be bullshit. Gosh there was so much XDCDX talk it was racking my brain. I don't really think about them or talk about them normally so it was weird talking about them again. Oh well. I didn't really know what else to talk about the whole trip because thats how I knew Atty and Tory - was through XDCDX.

The drive home went by a lot faster than it did on the way there, which was nice. Oh yeah! Ok so about a third of the way home, Tory and I REALLY had to pee so we stopped in this little town and we wasted 20 fucking minutes trying to find somewhere to piss. >< AND it was raining buckets so that made it even worse. D: XD Anyway. When we got home Atty and Tory visited with Cameron and I at our apartment for about twenty minutes then they left. Cameron laid with me in my room and we talked for about an hour about my trip and how XDCDX was racking my brain - Especially Lex. Lex is a very very touchy thing with Cameron and I. I told him I had described to Atty my Theory about Lex and how I know everything was her fault and Atty totally agreed with my theory and said it sounded about right (Yay run-on sentences XD). After a depressing talk with Cameron I hella fucking passed out around 0730.

All in all, I had a pretty good time. It was a nice little trip. I sure hope when Tory moves here she doesn't turn out to be a flake like everyone else related to those people because I really really like her and I want to be BFFs with her. She got under my skin that well.

----

Colorado, Say What? Part 1

2009-07-04T03:17:00.006-06:00

I was standing in line with Dana, Marcus, and Saul waiting to ride "The Rocket: Re-Entry" at Lagoon when my phone buzzed about five times in a row. I thought, "shit kid, calm down!" so I pulled out my phone.

Atty (from XDCDX) had sent me five messages.

So I opened the messages and read through each one. I don't remember what it EXACTLY said, but pretty much she came up with this elaborate plan and begged me to drive with her to Colorado to pick up her Girlfriend (Tory) and bring her back along with some of her things because she's moving here.

Huh.

I got onto Re-Entry, shat large and uncomfortable bricks, got off, then text Atty back and told her of course I'd go with her. :3

So we planned on leaving Wednesday Morning (6/1) and be back Friday Morning (6/3) so I could be back to get some sleep before I had to work.

I figured I might as well go because I never really do anything on my days off and this gave me the opportunity to have bonding time with Atty because I didn't really know her plus I had never been to Colorado and I frickin' LOVE her girlfriend and I -really- wanted to meet her in person! :D

Tory and I had never really formally met in person. I think we stood next to each other at AO'09 and commented and giggled about something together but that was really it. And after that Con I met up with Atty at Koko Kitchen in Downtown and she gave me Tory's number and told me to talk to her so I did and now I love the girl to deaff.

Anyway. Atty came and picked me up around 1230 and our journey began.

Destination: Fort Collins, CO.

She had told me it was a 9 hour drive, so I was prepared.

She made me the Navigator, so I had the map. It was directions from MapQuest along with a map.

It wasn't going to take nine hours. The paper said 6 hours and 58 minutes.

*palm to face*

That was a little more durable.

So we hit the road, and we immediately began conversations.

We talked about a lot of things. Of course, it's Atty, and I know her from XDCDX, so I wasn't really quite sure what to talk about so we talked about the old XDCDX days a lot and Ali quite a bit. I told her the WHOLE WhittyxAli story, the Horrors and the Parts that are so cute you want to rip your eyeballs out.

We pretty much would swap stories. She told me about her life with Kada-- Sorry, Stacie or Stacy or however the girl spells her name, what happened back when she was with this guy Keith, and how she met Tory and the whole how AttyxTory came to be. That was a big AWE fest. XD

We talked about sex quite a bit as well. Very casually. It didn't bother me. Sex discussions don't bother me one bit. I actually like talking about sex. It tells you a lot about a person from hearing their stories and them explaining how they are in the sack, y'know? (Favorite quote from this Conversation - "I'll do you Tomorrow" XD Lol.)

Through these discussions I learned a lot of new things about Atty and my old friends, and I think she learned a lot as well.

...

On the way there, we noticed a lot of the scenery. We drove passed these weird Hills that looked like a bunch of ass-cracks so we called them the Butt-Crack Hills. And immediately after we stated this, there was a sign for "Church Butte Road" and we lol'd hardcore. Of course, we read it as Church Butt, not Butte. XD

Not too long after that there was a pack of Wild Horses and Atty got soo Gay-Excited about them. Then later there was the BIGGEST Bull we have ever seen in our lives. We flipped shit about that damn Bull forever.

Throughout this drive we witnessed different weather as well. Off to the South was a wicked Lightning Storm and to the East were these really awesome looking clouds that went on forever.

I also noticed that most of Wyoming was just really green hills and small mountains off in the distance. It was very dull. There really wasn't anything amazing to see. Except these really random pink hills we saw and Atty said that we are going to live in one of the Hills with Tory and Megan Fox in Hobbit Holes. oO? XD

When we reached Evanston, WY, we saw all sorts of Fireworks advertisments. And after that, I swear every mile there was a frickin' sign for Fireworks. Don't think they like Fireworks in Wyoming, do you? XD

My favorite part of the Evanston thing was was there was a random little building off of the side of the freeway that said "FIREWORKS" really huge and to the left of the builing, and on the other side in very huge and apparent writing said "LIQUOR". I shat bricks. I remember Atty was talking about something serious and I had to interupt and point out the lol factor of that builidng. We lol'd a lot then got serious again. Go us. XD

We left Salt Lake with about half a tank, and about two and a half hours into the drive we were running low on fuel. And for about five miles straight, I swear, every Bilboard was of the Little America Hotel and how great it was. We were cracking jokes about it and being really lost about the fact that there might be a Little America Hotel in the middle of no where. But, alas, there WAS, and it was our Savior! It had a Gas Station near it with relatively cheaper gas prices. So from that day forward, Atty and I are fans of Little America. *adds on Facebook*

****

Stay Tuned for "Colorado, Say What? Part 2" Coming soon!

I am tired. I will write Part 2 later. :P

Learning

2009-06-10T15:41:00.001-06:00

So Dana's Dad just got her a Bass.

And that's pretty pimp. She's always wanted a Bass. So it was nice of him to pick that up for her. It's nice as hell, too!

So she texts me and tells me she's learning how to play "Super Massive Black Hole" by Muse. She showed me, then I picked up my old acoustic guitar I gave her and I learned the first part of the song as well.

So now we're all inspired in learning more and hopefully in a year or so I can be all badass and able to play a guitar.

Wouldn't that be amazing? :D

Here's what it would sound like on an acoustic:

Wish me luck!

After the guitar I'll work on my drumming skills more. :3

I was Scammed. Finally.

2009-06-05T00:09:00.002-06:00

Today an "Unknown" number kept calling me.

I was at Megan's house when they called again so I answered it.

At first it sounded like Visa was calling me to tell me I had been placed in a Sweepstakes to win either $25,000, a 2010 Convertable Ford Mustang GT, or a trip for four to Jamaca.

So I thought "Ok, whatever." then the lady said that in order to place me in the Sweepstakes she had to do a Survey, and asked me questions about my interests and what I like to do in my spare time.

So I told her, then she said she was gonna send me a Diamond Watch and a $100 Gas Card for participating. I was like "Ok...? Cool...?" then she transferred me over to a Supervisor then he started asking me questions about Magazines.

I told him I was already subscribed to Maxim and Entertainment Weekly, and he said he knew that and he was going to add six more magazines to my subscriptions for $4.99 a week. And didn't even ask me if that was Ok by me.

Then I said "Wait a minute. I don't need - " then he cut me off and said instead of charging me every week for it, he was going to charge me the whole amount as a curtiousy to me and then told me it was $69.something. I told him absolutely not, I have no money, I am NOT interested. Then he said he'll add his Employee discount and that it would only cost $39.31.

$39.31 A MONTH for 33 months!

I told him "NO! I am NOT interested!"

He kept asking me why not, it's a good deal, blah blah...

I told him "No, I am happy with the Subscriptions I have, I don't need anymore."

At this point I didn't hang up because earlier he had read my Debit Card Number and Address to me.

How the fuck did he know those?

So finally I asked him if he had a number I could call back in a few days because I was busy and had to go and couldn't make any deals at that time.

He gave me two numbers, and we hung up.

Also, through out the conversation, I asked him repeatedly "You WILL NOT charge me for anything right now, yes? I cannot afford anything right now. I only have $25 on me right now."

He said he would not charge anything.

After I hung up with him I went and checked my bank account and alas!

I had a charge for $39.31 from International Reading.

Not ONLY did the fucker charge it ANYWAY, he pulled me into the Negative, and now I have no money until next week and now I can't go to Utah Gay Pride. UGH! ><

I'm going to call the numbers the fucker gave me and I WILL get my money back!

This was SUCH bullshit! ><

----

So this is a Warning for everyone so no one else gets fucked.

Here's an Article I had just read:

"This company's method of operation fits all the signs of a telemarketing scam.

My 18 yr old daughter called me frantically after being talked into giving this company her SSN and bank debit card information.

What I was able to piece together from her (as she kept crying) was that this company called her cellphone and led her to believe they were contacting her from VISA, the credit card company (I'm sure they probably used some tricky legally advised deceitful/misleading language) and that she had been selected to enter into some type of sweepstakes in addition to a guaranteed diamond encrusted watch and $100.00 gas card for simply buying a magazine subscription. Once they had her on the hook, they stated it would only be 33 payments of $39.00.

My daughter who studies full-time, works part-time saving for her college tuition and volunteers teaching impoverished children in Sunday school, innocently fell for it. I am so angry!!

After doing some research into complaints formulated against this company, it appears that they target most of their victims to be of young age.

We contacted her bank to put a stop into any debits from this company within one hour of her call and we are personally going to the bank tomorrow to close this account.

Based on previous personal experience dealing with these outfits, I know that once you cancel - they try to intimidate you with forceful collection letters with no callback numbers or address, simply a PO Box address to send payments to while offering you a ridiculous settlement amount. They will also mention how your credit will be ruined. And the fact that the 'victim' willfully gave them their full acknowledgment of the 'sale' and that it was audio recorded.

The definition of a 'con': They are very nice and polite in order to obtain your confidence while preying on your innocence. Then they make a 180 degree turn on you if you disagree using fear and intimidation.

This is very scary given the fact that they have all of her sensitive identifying information.

Myself being an honest, hard working business man going through tough economic times would never ever consider doing business in this manner."

----

Demo Reel #1

2009-06-02T05:06:00.000-06:00

I'm starting to do some online Voice Acting again!

I made a new Demo Reel and I'm gonna continue to make random things. :P

Let me know what you think!

Darlin', We're Goin' UP

2009-05-30T03:13:00.002-06:00

So the other day (May 29) was a pretty good day.

I haven't had one of those in a while. ^-^

Anyway, about a week prior to that, I had asked Bailey if I could take her out for a Birthday dinner to anywhere she wanted (she turns 20 on the 31st), and she picked to go to the Olive Garden.

I like the Olive Garden for the most part. I've only been there a few times, but as far as I could remember, it was pretty tasty.

So here I am, all sorts of excited that I get to go out with Bailey to dinner, then a few days later she texts me and asks me to invite people (via Chris, Dana, Cameron, Katie, etc.) I was like "-.- Ghey..." but Ok. So I invited them all, but the only one who could come was Dana. Which was Ok.

So the day comes, and I have nothing else better to do with my life before then but watch about Jennifer Lopez on True Hollywood Stories.

When the time came, I went to Dana's to pick her up, and we end up taking forever to get ready because Dana had just gotten her hair cut and she needed to make herself look hella attractive because this girl she met at her work that she's kinda dating was gonna come but dropped out last minute. Dana was sad about it for a minute, but then got over it quickly.

So we get to Olive Garden, and Dana is SOO interested in the mountains to the East because they were green instead of their usual blue/purple and white from the snow. So she tells me to take a picture because my phone is better than hers but my phone couldn't zoom in that far. So I got out of the car, and started to run acrossed the parking lot JUST to get a picture of the damn mountains to please Dana's memory of the green mountains. XD

Anywho, Bailey pulls up and pulls Quinton out of his car seat, and she looked AMAZING, as always. She was wearing one of my favorite shirts of hers. I don't know how to describe it, but I love it.

So we go in, it's hella packed, but we didn't have to wait. Bailey ordered this really tasty strawberry drink and the whole time she just dipped a half eaten strawberry in it and just sucked on it.

Deep Throat jokes flew all around. Along with a lot of Sex Jokes and why Quinton was sitting there with us. I was out of the Loop, though. I was kinda off in my own World the whole time. I just kinda had this sweet high of being around friends.

I swear to GOD, my friends and I are NOT allowed to go to Family Restaurants during the day... We are so obscene, and extremely loud about it.

So anyway, I made the staff sing to Bailey, and we had lolly good times.

After dinner we parted from Bailey, and Dana got the idea of going to visit Phil. Which is cool. I love Phil! :D

So we went and saw Phil and the rest of his homies, including this INCREDIBLE fully restored 1965 Midnight Blue Ford Mustang. OMG it was soo sexy... I would've traded the Guy my Neon for his 'stang that second. XD

So we got bored of Phil's Homies because they were playing D and D and I'm not much of a fan of that, so we went to Coffee Break Dowtown.

Oh my gosh I got this Raspberry Italian Cream Soda and it was the greatest thing since sex! And sex is great!

So we sat down and smoked and read a IN Weekly, and read about the Pride Festival coming up.

Then Aldo text Dana and said he was seeing the movie UP.

Dana and I looked at each other and thought "WTF? Is that even out yet?"

Then he said it was for a Midnight showing.

Dana looked at me and said "Duh. I wanna go see UP!"

...

So we decided to go see UP.

I booked it down south to the closest movie theatre and we pretty much ran inside to the theatre. Thank god we got there when the previews were still going.

We couldn't see it in 3D, though, unfortunately. Due to my blind right eye, I can't really see movies in 3D so we had to settle for the norm. Which was fine.

I fricken' love Disney/Pixar.

This movie was adorable. I don't want to say much about it though. Don't want to spoil. :P

I just have to say I love the bird named Kevin. XD She's like... A Whitty/Dana/Katie Bird thing.

Enough said.

XD

So after the movie I took Dana home and came home and gave Jasper a hair cut because his fur kept getting ratted up and tied up in knots.

I did an Ok job, but it's nothing professional.

But now you can definately tell he's a Yorkie. (:

But yes. It was a good day. Those days need to happen more, yeah?

Unexpected Add & Message

2009-05-13T14:50:00.000-06:00

I -really- wanted to make a Vlog instead of a Blog on this subject, but Cameron took his Webcam back. T^T He gave me a different one to use, but I can't find any video recording software to record videos. If you know of any (that are free), let me know. I really like Vlogging. :3 (I have Windows Vista, btw.)

~~~~

The other night, I logged onto Facebook and I had a message and a Friend Approval. I didn't really think anything of it, until I saw who it was.

DJ.

I was VERY surprised. I added him a few weeks ago, for some reason, and I didn't really expect him to Approve. I figured maybe he'd laugh and think "Yeah, right!" or send me a hate letter bitching me out for even trying something like that.

When I saw that the message I had received was from him, my heart skipped a few beats and my adrenaline started to pump like crazy. It was titled "...Hi". I was scared to death to open it. It took a lot of hesitation, but I opened it. At first I considered just deleting it without reading because I had figured that it was him bitching me out for adding him, and saying "I can't believe you're not over it blah blah", because I had received messages like that before in the past from Lex, Roxas, and Kit.

I starred at it for a while, then I opened it. The opening paragraph approved all of my fears.

"It's been a year... pretty much over a year, hasn't it? I'm actually pretty surprised you had the balls to send me an FR... so I have to give you props for that I suppose."

By now I about had a stroke, and I knew that this message would be on my mind for weeks, and would cause me so much stress.

Then the second paragraph took me by total and complete surprise.

"First off I guess I'll state this. Whitney, I don't hate you. You did a lot of shit to me... you burned me pretty hard. Our friendship was pretty strong back then, and you know what? You were one of my best friends... someone I trusted a lot... thought I could turn to..."

My heart was still pumping, and the words "I Don't Hate You" took off a lot of stress. Then I thought "What the... Hell?"

"But this letter isn't meant to be a bash-Whitney letter. It's... to clear things up I suppose. I don't like going to AO and AB and worrying about imposing drama between the two of us... it puts a huge damper on shit y'know? I hate it. And I hated hating you... I'm not a hateful person and it feels like this sick black ball deep inside my core... it's disgusting... so what I'm saying is... I don't think things could ever be like they were... but I'm willing to be civil... and kind of an acquaintance I suppose?"

I had to read this paragraph more than twice to take things in. Was this really happening? I have been waiting for a message like this for a long, long time, and I could not believe what I was reading.

"You did a lot of unforgivable things to me, and you know you did. I don't even have to say 'em. Sometimes as your friend I felt like I was being treated like a dog or a secondary friend... someone you hung with and liked when nobody else was around... I didn't like that. Y'know? It hurt me a lot... I don't know if you even realized that... but it did."

Of course I realized it, Deej... But it was too late to fix things when I had the chance... I had plans for you on your 24th Birthday, but alas, I was torn out of your life a few days before our Birthdays...

"I'm really sad that I ended up losing someone who I laughed with so much... had so many good times with... the park is one of my best memories, with you in your pigtails... gawd that was so long ago... I hope you realize what you've lost too... cuz that friendship was a pretty big thing for me... I think it's why I ended up holding so much malice toward you... I felt utterly betrayed... it hurt like a bitch. It still does."

And I do realize what I had. I have known this for a long, long time. But I knew/know there's nothing I can do to change the past, and I know there's nothing I can do to make up for it. As hard as I can try, there's no way. And I... As well... And as much as I try to avoid it... Hurt still...

"Anyway I guess I've said what I needed to say. I'm willing to be an acquaintance with you on facebook or at cons or when you're around Dana or whatever... I don't hate you. AO was really good, and I was really happy there was no drama."

This is... Such a relief. Sometimes, I don't even want to go to Conventions because I know something might happen, no matter how hard I avoid it. Something always goes down and I don't know why. I don't... Do anything. People just hear me say something wrong, people mistake my glances, but I really really do try to avoid Drama as much as I can. I'm very glad nothing had happened at AO this year. I'm actually very surprised nothing did. I know I wouldn't have started it, like always, but shit happens.

I have been Civil this whole time. And I would love to be Acquaintances. It's probably the closest I am going to get. He said nothing will ever be the same again, and that is very true. But, I am willing to admit, I really wish we could be more than Acquaintances someday... As much as I doubt that will happen, because I know he doesn't want anything to do with me besides that, I can still dream, right?

I had to read that message over and over before I could reply. I am still in disbelief. I never, ever thought, I would get a message like this...

And I am glad.

I am so, so happy.

When I replied, I was litterally in tears, thinking about how badly I had hurt him. DJ was one of my dearest, and closest friends. I could tell him anything. I treasured his and I's friendship more than he thinks. I know I made my mistakes, and I definately learned from them... And like I had said, there's nothing I could do to make it all up to him. As much as I'd like to.

Maybe now I'll be able to smile more...

...

:)

Keep On Blogging

2009-04-29T02:40:00.002-06:00

Today Dana came and woke me up at 12:30pm and that morning I didn't get to bed until 9:00am... Why am I still awake? D: Ok, this is way off what I was going to talk about. XD Anyway, she told me that the other day she had gone to her old LiveJournal and read a bunch of her old Blogs and how funny it was to see what she talked about years ago and to laugh at herself. I lol'd and thought this was a GREAT idea!

So I went to my old LiveJoural and went to my first post and read all the way up to my latest one one there.

LOL!

Oh my gosh I was SUCH a loser before I met Dana. No kidding. XD The only friends I had were internet friends at the time. It was also hilarious because of the Hetero Posts. Those were my favorite. XD I Lol'd so big at me saying "I hate Guys, but I LOVE them!" and I am still Loling. And also talking about crushes on certain guys. It's awesome because you see how I slowly realize I'm a Lesbian. I also bitched and moaned and bored a lot in those posts. Oh, and lots and lots of Emo. Ok, I know my Blogs now are no different, but those ones were just annoying. I was embarrassed for myself. XD I also kept yelling at myself saying like "OH HONEY YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW!" or "OH MY GOSH YOU'RE SO STUPID!" and a lot of "LOL! I WAS SUCH A NOOB!" Me, Dana, and Nicole lol'd a lot. It was so great.

After reading those old posts, I realized that Blogging really is a good thing. 'Cause then in like, five years from now, I can come back to these posts and Lol more about how my life has changed and how I have changed over the years. Its an awesome thing, really. So I encourage EVERYONE to Blog their lives as much as they can so you can go back and find some memories you forgot about. Its soo cool!

A New Chapter

2009-04-20T16:02:00.002-06:00

Here I am, on Blogger. I've decided to move away from Myspace and start a real, official Blog.
Hope this goes well.